Ariana Grande Has Been Awarded Sole Custody Of "Piggy Smallz," Her Pet Pig That Pete Davidson Tattooed On His Body

TMZ – Piggy Smallz — the couple’s teacup pig they adopted last month — became a signature of their relationship … in fact, Davidson got a tattoo of Smallz on his torso shortly after she became part of their family.

Here’s the thing. Ariana bought the pig and it was really hers from the get-go, so she’s keeping it … again, no fight over the porker.

Breaking news this morning – no I’m not talking about whatever’s going on with Honduras, or an incredible comeback win on Monday Night Football, or a senator’s DNA results.  I’m talking pigs.

I’m talking poor Pete Davidson taking lump after lump after lump.  From butthole eyes to a high profile breakup with one of the world’s biggest pop stars where he gets kicked out of his trillion dollar a month apartment, and now the cherry on top of the shit sundae: losing custody of the pet.

I don’t care if it’s a pig.  I know a pig is not a dog.  But it doesn’t matter – the hardest part of any breakup is the animal.  Who does he go with.  Who gets to keep him.  The love may be gone between the two humans, but it’s still just as strong – probably stronger, now that you’re venturing out on your own – for your pet.

I don’t care about engagement rings.

Sources close to Ariana tell us she’s already returned the nearly $100k engagement ring Davidson gave her back in June. The ring — a 3.03 carat diamond set in platinum — was a one of a kind, made specifically for Grande, and took weeks to complete. We’re told there was no struggle over who’d keep the ring. He bought it in contemplation of marriage, and she was quick to fork it over.

Diamonds are forever.  Teacup Pigs have a life expectancy of like, barely 5.

And now Pete has to live the last 5 years of his pig’s life away from him, watching from afar, seeing him only through Instagram Stories and Twitter videos.

I mean how look how much he loved this little guy.

You tattoo a pig on your body you get custody of the pig.  That’s my first rule I’m putting in when I’m President.